Thirty two years ago the world was subjected to me and no one quite knew what had hit them. I'll be completely honest with you. Asperger Syndrome is far from a party in a box. It sucks not to have any friends when you're growing up, or to have difficulty making friends later on when you grow up and move away to a new place. Or when your friends move on and leave you behind. It is completely isolating and depressing many times.
It can be the worst sensation in the world to watch others figuring out how to be part of their world and for you to just not "get it." To watch the closeness that others seem to have and to want it so bad that you feel like you can't breathe, until you distract yourself and go off and play by yourself... while trying to swallow your feelings of bitterness to those who seem like they have it so easy.
I'll let you in on one more secret before I go. I'm not there yet, either. Accepting what this thing called Asperser Syndrome means for our lives in all of its entirety is a daunting task. Resenting what we could have been, a constant embarrassment at not doing things right, this can be hard to live with.
I'm still trying to figure out my place in this world. I'm trying to figure out how I can get what I need, what makes me happy, and what is meaningful to me. I dislike inconsistency and things that are not logical .People who say one thing and do another. I like routines and plans and I don't like changes. I don't feel there is person out there for me, there is no match or equal. I like my own company to an extent, but I hate being alone.
Some of us may be the silent type. We don't like to talk much, but we are still grateful for our friends and let them know it.
We're all on this journey together. Why don't you come along for the ride with me?